party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
