The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's the barista slut.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
