you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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