Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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