Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
