Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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