Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
