I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
