What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
