Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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