Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
organizing the empties. That sober.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
