i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
