..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
