ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
