I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
