Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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