I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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