I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
