i think i have herpe
just one?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize