Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
