Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
