i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
