Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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You. Win. At. Life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
