so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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