we're blogging at a bar
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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