Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just made my gag reflex go away.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize