She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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