Christians are straight up FREAKS
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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