Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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