i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
