Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
