he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
