so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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