we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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