We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
