totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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