Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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