but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
