Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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