Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
