my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
either way he was missing a nipple.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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