i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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