i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
