I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
