Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
