I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
