A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
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