Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
