There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
