The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
only if we run a train.
done.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
