nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You smell like stripper and shame
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize