Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
