Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
