Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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