i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
