U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
