He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
