I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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