physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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