so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
