I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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