I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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