Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
