do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Boobs are out for the taking
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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